Wow we made it! 🎉
What began as a singular commitment in January 2020, dubbed “One Year No Fear”, has slowly evolved into a deeply embedded personal mantra. A flicker of light, in an ocean of possibility, guiding the fundamental nuances & predispositions that determine so much of our health & happiness.
I cannot begin to share the sheer amount of occasions a rudderless sailor (like me) would have floated about desperately sans this simple edict dictating my day. Train everyday, pursue your goals every single day, during the dark moments, the light and the bored - keep going. Did I accomplish everything I set out to? Absolutely not. In fact what is telling is that despite this gargantuan level of commitment (for me anyway), alongside work/hobbies, there was still plenty of time soaked in procrastination, mediocrity & laziness! The difference (compared to the past) is that this time it was tracked, monitored, scrutinised, admonished, chastised, scorned, investigated, and corrected going forward. Wasting a day absconding responsibilities would result in several determined days of effort in penance; long streaks of accomplishment. And whilst the outcomes are undoubtedly innumerable, they are also somewhat invisible to be honest. I definitely feel more satisfied. Like I’m on my destined path, inching forwards in the right direction.
Mitigating the slips. Accelerating through dips. What a fantastic, precious feeling that is.
“Don’t ever let your memories become greater than your Dreams” Joe De Sena founder of Spartan Race & Death Race. My reading of his point being that looking ahead is way more valuable than looking back. Retirement, graduation, redundancy, divorce - any step change in life is an opportunity for growth. Personally the past always seems to overwhelm the present, never mind the future. It’s a phenomenon remarked on by many successful entrepreneurs: Brandon Beck and Marc Merrill for instance, of Riot Games. They share the oft retold idea that had they known how difficult it was (or would be) they never would have started their now wildly successful company! It’s also something I see in students. Fear of the arduousness of restarting and relearning concepts; of deconstructing all they know and going back to first principles. This year, in part, has been a determined effort to accept the difficulty that lies ahead, embrace it, even enjoy it! A key point of pride has been, what is now very discernible, growth in my predisposition towards discomfort. Being comfortable whilst uncomfortable was a somewhat hidden deficiency previously, and takes constant work. Cold showers, deep breathwork, and fasting are just a slice of the delectables I still struggle with, yet set out to undertake every day.
Alex Honnold is a legendary climber who climbed (via free ascent i.e. no gear) El Capitan in Yosemite. I’ve waxed lyrical about this champion incessantly, and in the face of my own setbacks and injuries (most notably having to abandon the marathon I spent 16 weeks training for) I have found some solace reflecting on his epic feat.
For Alex, after a long laborious period of training which included memorising a series of hundreds of holds/grips up the cliff face; he felt ready. The film team arose well before dawn and rigged the jagged edifice in preparation of filming the impossible dream. Alex embarks at the crack of dawn, carrying the weight of expectation squarely on his insane shoulders. This has never been done before. Last goodbyes have been shared, with his girlfriend for instance, possibly forever. And just as he begins to take on the monolith, he pauses. Something doesn’t feel right. Well of course it doesn’t - being thousands of metres above the ground, on a flat vertical cliff face, with no safety equipment is nothing short of ludicrous. Yet one’s ability to attempt and accomplish such a feat is nested in a level of determination, confidence, and resilience that few on this planet will ever encounter. A mystique shrouds those who are able to push past fear, especially as this can easily mutate into a dark form of ego & pride capable of dislodging solid decisions. As mountain climbers who have tackled beasts like Annapurna and Everest well know, those willing and able to turn back (despite vast expense, time and effort incurred) are the only ones with a hope of longevity - survival. Rob Hall’s team didn’t, in the infamous 1999 Everest climbing tragedy. Nor did Scott Fischers. Yet here, with Alex, he turns back. And so did I. The juice has to be worth the squeeze!
With that there is an acceptance that sometimes it is wiser to live to fight another day. To retreat, regroup, and re-energise. There’s certainly always more to do, stronger relationships to build, higher planes of spiritual & emotional connection to aspire to. So with that I bow out of 2020 with my head held high. In fact, a bunch of buddies and I undertook the ultimate pilgrimage, Mount Kenya, in the last few days of 2020 (the big patch where nothing else happened). I’ll sign off by saying this was epic, & given I’ll probably be the only person ever to read this years from now.
From young papa to old papa --> keep it up buddy. I believe in you.
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Mt Kenya (Elevation: 5,199 m - Will’s Perspective)
Stage One: Days before. Shopping at Decathalon (expensive). No real time to prepare (mentally or clothes wise), Will jumped straight onto it from a trip in Maasi Mara. “I knew what to expect, always entertaining watching Katie jump straight into the unknown”.
Stage Two: First day meet up in the morning, journey to snow peak hotel: faffing, vegetarian pre-ordered by Udi for all, T orders mbuzi (goat) on site, too late to walk! Met Zachary (our guide). Changed next day leave time to 6am (earlier). Pick random rental kit. 10k walk, smoky fire, shared sink & shower, lovely walks, sleep on beds, strong sleep (not Will). Warm welcome from the porters, good atmosphere, excitement, a few nerves, new relationships building. Rent-a-kit not pleasant but does the job! T loves chicken more than me.
Stage Three: Second day 8am start, walked to the lake, Maria couldn’t breathe, brutal wind at camp (Katie took the brunt of it), will winning the name game, waterfall dip, tino dead legs.
Udi trying to find a signal to maintain his run of consecutive Italian lessons. Group of locals joined in the evening, a lively bunch who made a huge fire after we went to bed early. Enjoyed an old/rented worn down bed matt (spend money here). Full moon lit up night skies.
Stage Four: Third day late start, walk up the ridge, amazing tomato sandwich, Maria acclimatised, Kate Middleton gorge, weird golf oasis, rock hyrax, Katie and will altitude sickness / headache, 7 - 1am sleep. Landscape begins to change, top insight. Spotting campers down near the lake in the glacier. French couple with 1 porter/guide look pro vs. us. Sam (porter) nicest guy. Group mindset is to get it done and get home. Could we have got to camp 3 in two days? Perhaps safe bet we didn't.
Stage Five: Fourth day 150am start, flat start, steep inclines, crazy life threatening drops, toni quiet (focused), summit sunrise 6am, 70 year old at summit, young kid with family climbing, tino knees, 26,000 steps, back to camp at 11am, down to camp 2 by 3, filthy. Journey home & reflections. Dreamy sunrise, relief, sense of achievement. Tino standing like Lance Armstrong at the top. Maria smashed her fears. Guide doing his job well. Will thinking this really is the last time above 4000m unless skiing down it. Walk down is brutal, crazy last drive in a Land Rover from camp 2. An experience you won't forget. Tino finished as he started, in search of red bulls.
Mt Kenya (Elevation: 5,199 m - Katie’s perspective
The day started early for me, 4am at the ParkInn Hotel, Wetlands on 26th December in order to travel to the base of Mount Kenya, Chogoria. Whilst we waited patiently for our Chauffeur Tino, I made a great decision to stock up on nuts and Bombay mix. Although these purchases don’t sound all that special, each night, once we had completed a stage of the uphill climb to Mount Kenya’s summit, I would burrow into my tent and devour handfuls of the stuff. It really did become my daily reward, three very nourishing handfuls of this spicy delight. Any more, and I’d run out. The Mandazi on the trip was sadly rather dry in my opinion, but I liked the fact they were used by Zachary (our guide), to incentivise us for our next well deserved pitstop. It wasn’t the Mandazi that got me to the peak, that’s for certain.
As Udi rightly phrased it, we had a lot of opportunities to practice our patience on the trip, most noticeably in the mornings. I have never been very good at waiting around. I like to be on my own agenda. It would have been not nearly as fun to do this trip alone or without one another, and I valued the constant natter and amusement brought by our magnificent team. It was a real laugh but let’s sharpen up on the timings next time!
The hike itself had so many stages. If started almost too easy with a few days of ambling. I was incredibly poorly prepared mentally and had given it very little thought other than the fact I do enjoy an adventure & nice scenery. I was not expecting such sleep deprivation & crippling headaches as we reached 4,000 mt. The exhaustion certainly caught up with me.
A few clear highlights for me. First, my tomato sandwich that I opened with excitement on day 3. We had been climbing the hot rock face of Mount Kenya for a good 4 hrs, and when I found a comfy scenic spot to unwrap my sandwich. It did make me laugh, how sparingly the tomato had been divvied out! I loved every meal time, not because I am greedy or I like to sit down. I just find that It is a good time to reward oneself for their daily achievements. In most instances, these were in unbelievable settings, looking out over mirror glass lakes, gorges and glamorous campsites, and whatever it is we were eating, we always found common ground and had a real laugh.
If I were to climb to the summit again, I would definitely try and enjoy the moment more, and would smile for the Camera. My patience had worn quite thin, and I just wanted to get there. The peak looked so close, but every bend, it got further and further away, steeper and steeper. The climb up, felt like we were walking on the moon, tackling boulders, limited oxygen and the cold! The sausage break was my favourite and as we descended, as the sun started to warm our backs, I got the spring in my step back!
Looking back on my hike up Mount Kenya, it’s something I will never forget. You can not put a price to these sorts of experiences. Thank you for charging me the non resident rate!!
