April Done.
Consistency was on fire thanks to a group challenge (songadao) to put out something creative every day of the month. Actually publishing these things, and sharing them with others, is a useful litmus test. Those actions inevitably lower internal artificial quality barriers for releasing material; as well as unshackling me from old thoughts and ideas. Felt good to just get a few pieces out and off my long term to do list e.g. the Paul Graham series!
I had some mad writing sessions for Songcamp, the music collective of 80 people/strangers creating 45 songs together online. Really quite lovely and amazing to see what is possible now in this new decentralised mode of collaboration. Asynchronous is definitely my preferred model for productive output with others. That being said, I’ve all but stopped doing the team artwork for my album - inspiration has been fully drained out of me in that arena. Incredible how emotional levers can drive (or inhibit) activity. As a result (in part at least), two applications for funding were denied. It’s incredible the doors it opens to just have consistent quality output, however walking through those doors takes another level of execution operationally that isn’t quite there yet.
The confidence displayed by my tutee, despite us being very behind the syllabus with exams coming up, is a wonder to behold. It’s such productive ammunition as it means he doesn’t break down after a bad result, or become disenchanted, but rather just bounces back and accepts small failures as learnings towards a bigger result. What a fantastic lesson. I find myself wanting to instil fear somewhat, as that can be a motivator, but am doing my best to curb that instinct as self-belief is priceless.
I played lots of squash and tennis, and also had a pretty very consistent run across all physical aspects this month. Pretty sure I gave myself a grey hair juggling all the writing whilst maintaining the rest. Sleep has been a bit of a sacrifice. I have incredibly deep gratitude for all the wonderful souls I spent time with too. Was great to catch up with Will Lowes who was gregarious and enthusiastic as ever, a great listener. The traplord experience was also illuminative, an immersive theatrical exploration of black masculinity, power and mortality with an express confrontation of the theme of mental health. Really incredible to witness the impact of performance and poetry in ruminating on, and conveying, the depth of insights we rarely reflect on in this arena.
What a pleasure to go for dinner with Ed Thornton and his Mrs, on a night when I could easily have stayed in and done some writing. We did an easter egg hunt round their house, a simple joy, found one in the kettle! And there was also a long lost reconnection with Freddie and his Mrs, who met each other at a Papa and the Jim Jams long ago! Turns out it was the edgy first date that sealed the deal, she is now pregnant with their first. Lol.
I had a few catch up calls with people too but was struck at how susceptible I am with the Distance Bias — we prefer what’s closer over what’s farther away. For my family it's super important for me to mitigate its impact with systems that acknowledge them regularly with calls and sharing as much of my life as possible.
